Ain't no place like Jam Dung!

We often times say that we want to experience another country because of the things, often negative, that plague our existence each day. But each day I experience something new and unbelievable which only makes me laugh and say "Only in Jamaica".

For instance, Nadeen, Alton and I decide to take in the children's animated flick "madagascar" yesterday evening. Yes, it was enjoyable though indeed rather short. It was also a rare thing for us to actually go out together, so we decided to go by the only available ice scream shop in liguanea (and no NOT Baskin robbins..we nuh dat idle fi waste cash) and indulge. After waiting by the liguanea bus stop for roughly an hour for a taxi going our way we finally caught one willing to take us home, or rather to the nearest bus stop. The car looked like a regular taxi, nothing unusual about it and no sounds coming from it either that would warrant suspicion, or maybe we didn't pay enough attention because we were rather engrossed in conversation. Nevertheless we willilngly hopped in. A few mins later another passenger is picked up, one that, had all three of us not been in the back, I am certain would have topped the car with her weight. With ladened vehicle now, the driver then asks us if another person can 'squeeze' in.

To which our response was, "anybody else and dis cyar is sure fi pop dung!". So on we go headed to papine. What we did notice however was that the car started to struggle, but we assumed it was just the 'weight'. Upon reahing the hope pastures/hope road stop light, the car violently begins to stutter. We ask the driver if everything was ok. He brightly says "yea man". But no it wasn't because in the middle of the intersection (and the green light) the car comes to a complete stop! To which the driver exclaims "me did fraid a dis yuh nuh!" Thinkin d driver was referring to a faulty fuse or ignition or sumting we ask d driver "yuh awright driver or yuh out a gyas?".

Would you believe d driver says "no worry man all we need fi do is go back to d gas station and get some gas" You know by dis time I begin to laugh because its bad enough that we had to jump out of the vehicle in the middle of the intersection but that the driver actually told us (me and Nadeen) to stay and Alton come out come help him PUSH d cyar! So we ask him push it where to which he says "nuh back dung tod gyas station!" My response to this was ofc ourse a very load and boisterous guffaw of a laugh because clearly the driver had NOT worked out the fact that the nearest gas station was "undergoing renovation and was therefore NOT open" and the next one was a couple 100 metres further. YET he expected Alton to 'push' d cyar all that way. Oh and by this time the heavy sexed woman in teh front seat had not so much as offered to alight from the vehicle and ease the driver's 'burden'' even the slightest bit! But she had the nerve to say to Nadeen and me "wah unno a come out fah?"

I tell you i laughed until i cried because only in jamaica would such an experience bring me to tears only after laughing profusely and until my stomach hurt!!

Clearly its all a part of my "Re-education".

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