Your Not as Badass as You think - Detox Day 14

No doubt you are expecting a real cuss out bad behaving kind of post right? Wrong! Couldn't be further from the truth. This really involves me thinking I've been such a badass, having kicked sugar for the last 2 weeks (now on Day 14) and bragging about feeling great and all that jazz, yet I almost died of disappointment from tasting the batter of a 'detox-approved' pumpkin streusel muffin recipe. Like seriously! lolol! There I am standing in the middle of my kitchen, with a bunch of dirty dishes in the sink needing to be washed but aren't clearly as important as this muffin batter, holding my breath to taste this deliciousness looking beauty. When I finally do, it was neither as 'sweet' as the picture portrait it nor as my senses expected it to be, and made me realize...ok, maybe I'm missing 'sweet' a little more than I thought I was and if that's really the case, am I a big sugar detox phony? Say it isn't so! 

I could of course blame it on the cup of freshly brewed black coffee I had first thing this morning, or more importantly on, not having my first meal of the day until 1pm, after doing cardio PLUS a workout! But I'm not going to, because I preach everyday about being prepared blah blah, blah blah, so I have no excuse and should know better. Yet there I was stuck in the gym for an extra 2hours with no food and refused to eat any of the crappy 'snacks' sold at the front desk. Shanique, what were you thinking right?!! 

In an effort to stay committed to the plan, as soon my noon client session ended I bolted for home. Low blood sugar levels are really not nice and you are easily reminded why eating every few hours is a good thing. It prevents you from 1) passing out and 2) eating the first edible thing you set your eyes on. Shit, if you are even as remotely hungry as I was, who says its got to even be edible, so long as it can save your life! Sheesh...don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about! Lol!  

So yea, back to the story. Passing out was not an option, no matter how much my body was calling for it so I had a stick of 'sugar-free' gum to tide me over, for all of 20 seconds. Yea yea sue me cause of sugar alcohols etc - but see what I mean...that was a LIFE SAVER at work!! And reminding myself of why I am doing this detox, prevented #2 from even being a consideration. So I got home, went right to the fridge, had probably 1/2 the gallon of water in one go to calm my famished nerves long enough to make a 'kitchen sink egg & sausage scramble'. Ate it so fast, I dint even take a picture and if you know me, I ALWAYS take pictures of my food! Suffice it to say, that scramble while easing the agony, didn't put much of a dent in hunger one bit so I decided to try this 21DSD approved 'Pumpkin/Apple Streusel' muffin recipe I saw on pinterest. Which brings me to my opening story.

Phony detoxer I may be, but in explaining the desire for sweetness part I can possibly redeem/forgive myself and provide some much needed insight as well. When the body is short on the foods it needs to satiate it, cravings will kick in. Low blood sugar in particular often triggers cravings for 'sweet' foods in an attempt to ramp up 'insulin' levels. The problem isn't so much the sugar itself, its the inability to stop when one needs to, highlighting therefore its 'addictive' nature. And at a time when blood sugar levels are low, no doubt HAD those muffins been sweet, if honey was added for instance, five of them would not still be sitting on my kitchen counter for 'another time'. I guarantee you, they would have been gone in probably a minute flat! Come on, I've been doing this for 2 weeks now and have had a pumpkin muffin (made with coconut flour) maybe once before, so I KNOW it is not sweet nor should I expect it to. But you couldn't tell my poor food deprived brain that! Sure it knew the coconut, pumpkin, cinnamon were in there, but it saw sugar where there was none and wanted some! Good thing it was quickly brought back to the real world when I decided it better to have more almonds and two extra eggs. Wow, the beast got quiet after that. 

I say all of this to say, once again, preparing for the best and the worst case scenario is never a bad thing. In my case I was ill-prepared and quickly made to feel like a total failure. But I chose to handle it and overcome it, which to me is more meaningful. And rest assured THAT won't be happening again! Its not a feeling to be repeated but instead an experience from which several lessons can be gleaned the most important of which is "no matter how far along the journey you are, being a badass is just a n over-rated metaphor, making mistakes are necessary and living to tell the tale is priceless".  Yes, I made that up and it probably makes no sense but it sure sums up my 14th day nicely. Can you believe, only a week left? Wow, time sure flies!